Thursday, January 27, 2005

So tired!!!!

Okay so today is Thursday and my son did not get to go to his pj party at school. Oh well he was invited to a b-day/sleepover party so he wasn't to terribly upset. Now I feel bad for my oldest son he is not feeling well at all has a slight fever and the nasty yuck that has been going around. My daughter was rather rambuncious today wore me out!!!! Have not been sleeping the best lately and too scared to take my sleeping pills because I have such a hard time getting up with my brats in the morning when I take them but damn do I need a good nights sleep soon. I need a lot actually. I need a night out . a kid free night. a night alone with my husband to go out to dinner or something or maybe get some love and attention from him. Which seems to be few and far between lately!!!! I just need to get out of thie priosn of mine even if it is just for an hour I need OUT!!!!

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Sorry forgot some people...

Okay before I turn into a certain person that I am far from being the same as I want to fix something that I said earlier...the part about having no friends...I do but not many and these are newly acquired friends...not used to saying that I have friends an oversight on my part apologies!!!

Monday, January 24, 2005

not the greatest pic but these are my 4 babies Posted by Hello

Rough crappy Start

K well I never claimed to be great at doing something I have no clue on how or what to do that is for sure....but after reading through many other blogs maybe that was not the best way to start ??u would be right to agree!!!!

So guess what I am wanting to do is release whatever...anger..happiness..sadness and whatever else there is to release....I have so many feeling built up I could go on forever releasing...I guess right now I'm feeling upset and sad and darn it pretty pissed what?? how cruel life can be to some of us...(k pity party time don't mind me at all) Here's the deal I have MS have said that before which means on most days I can not drive or just get in the car and go do u even begin to understand how horrible that is?? I don't and I live it daily...locked like a prisoner in my own home everyday with my daughter while my 3 sons are lucky enuff to get to go to school to escape this prison. If I am lucky my husband will take me somewhere he works so much since I can not help support our 4 kids (MS 's fault yet again). But when he is "nice" enuff to take me somewhere..guess what there is no where to go..I have no friends they all left when MS knocked on the door and they were not even polite enuff to close the door and not let it come in. So I just gave up on asking to leave my house....BUt here is the thing Thursday my son has a cute lil pj party at school he is in pre-school and of course of all days for his bus not to run it has to be that day...I feel horrible for him to miss this party he has already missed 3 parties due to having a yucky bout of scarlet I have no way to get him to or from school so he can enjoy aomehat of a normal childhood....That is all I want for my kids it def. is not normal at home with a handicapped Mom who is always crabby (not fair to my poor babies)and can't even ro normal Mom stuff with you...shitty life for them if u ask me...but man am I lucky..they never complain they have to help so much too and no complaints still...I guess I am blessed????

This is me....not Miss America but it is me Posted by Hello

Just did this for something to do to release my frustrations with life in general and life with a incurable disease

It seems everyone has a blog now and I thought what the heck why not? God knows I have enough time and a lot to get off my chest probably just "writing" it down will make me feel better maybe even a lil. I have a boring almost sad life..the kind I used to hear about and say that is never gonna be me..well guess what it IS!!!! It is ok though I could have so much worse the most of the "bad" is boredom and cabin fever 24/7!!!! So guess I am done for today
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