Monday, January 24, 2005

Rough crappy Start

K well I never claimed to be great at doing something I have no clue on how or what to do that is for sure....but after reading through many other blogs maybe that was not the best way to start ??u would be right to agree!!!!

So guess what I am wanting to do is release whatever...anger..happiness..sadness and whatever else there is to release....I have so many feeling built up I could go on forever releasing...I guess right now I'm feeling upset and sad and darn it pretty pissed off...at what?? how cruel life can be to some of us...(k pity party time don't mind me at all) Here's the deal I have MS have said that before which means on most days I can not drive or just get in the car and go do u even begin to understand how horrible that is?? I don't and I live it daily...locked like a prisoner in my own home everyday with my daughter while my 3 sons are lucky enuff to get to go to school to escape this prison. If I am lucky my husband will take me somewhere he works so much since I can not help support our 4 kids (MS 's fault yet again). But when he is "nice" enuff to take me somewhere..guess what there is no where to go..I have no friends they all left when MS knocked on the door and they were not even polite enuff to close the door and not let it come in. So I just gave up on asking to leave my house....BUt here is the thing Thursday my son has a cute lil pj party at school he is in pre-school and of course of all days for his bus not to run it has to be that day...I feel horrible for him to miss this party he has already missed 3 parties due to having a yucky bout of scarlet fever...so I have no way to get him to or from school so he can enjoy aomehat of a normal childhood....That is all I want for my kids it def. is not normal at home with a handicapped Mom who is always crabby (not fair to my poor babies)and can't even ro normal Mom stuff with you...shitty life for them if u ask me...but man am I lucky..they never complain they have to help so much too and no complaints still...I guess I am blessed????

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