Saturday, February 26, 2005

Guess what? still pain I'm so excited!!!

Ok if u have not guessed yet....still pain so much of it. I do not know how much more I can handle. I can't really walk good I can't take care of my kids, I can't even make love to my husband. Do you understand what this feels like to be completely useless completely worthless completely helpless??? I hate it , I cry as I write this, I don't think it is fair to my children or my husband. There have been many of days that I just wanna pack up and leave let my kids have the mother that they deserve , let my husband have the wife he deserves. It breaks my heart to know that someday it will always be like this, I will always be like this..helpless, worthless. The pain today is just worse , I can't stand it, I just wanna close my eyes and never open them again. What else am I good for??? I have "friends" shoe lie, who hurt me who say they care but are no where to be found when I need them the most...the same is true for my family . It seems like I am always alone when I need someone the most!!!
Dammit!!! I need help I need the pain to go away!!!! and I need thie soon or I don't know what I am gonna do!!!


Blogger Jade said...

oh honey, why didn't you call me? I would have come back and got the kids.. I feel sooo bad now

11:49 PM  

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