Thursday, April 07, 2005

Things are so hard I don't know...

what to do!!! Money doesn't grow on trees. but Why not?? What if you took good care of your tree, watered it, gave it TLC, plant food and all the attention anyone or anything needed?? Then would you deserve to have a money tree?? I think so!!! Why is it that taxpayers (like my husband) pay all these taxes and yet disabled people like me still have to suffer with now help at all?? I don't understand the way things work anymore. Ok maybe that last qusetion was a tad bit selfish. But isn't everyone selfish once in a while?? Doesn;t everyone deserve it?? I think so. I am rarely a selfish person and when I am 9times out of 10 it is to my husband. I know alot of my writings on hers probably seem selfish and self-centered, but in all honesty I am completely opposite of the person I come across to be on here. This is my safe haven to bitch, moan, whine, complain, and do whatever I need to do at that moment to get through it. I feel so safe here. There is only one person that I know that reads this board. So it is safe for me to let my emotions out. I have no one that can take or will take the time out of their busy life to let me vent, whine, and cry like I can do here. And it is no one's responsibility to do this..that is the conclusion that I have come to. When I try to talk to my husband he brushes me off the same way he does my kids. I need him to listen to me...when I am so obviously calling out for his love and attention. I want the more than everything. I know he has a hard time dealing with my MS..this I understand...but instead of being mean to me and making me feel like shit why can't we cry together or laugh together?? Why can't we do anything TOGETHER??????

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