Wednesday, September 07, 2005

So tired..It hurts...

man am I tired. I set the alarm for 5:00 so I could get Andrew up for school on time so he could shower and eat and brush his teeth..Well guess what he was already in the shower. He told me that he was up since 4:30 because he was so excited. So I stayed up with him and folded 2 loads of laundry that I slacked on yesterday. Then when he went out to wait for the bus I went back to bed. Which was like 6ish. I didn't fall right to sleep either. Then the alarm went off at 7:00 for Bradley. I pushed snooze twice and got him up. What a long day I have had already. Kaylee was woke up by Andrew at like 5:30 so she has been in rare from with her bitchy attitude(wonder where she gets that from??? hmmmmm)

When I first checked my blog this morning I was soooo excited because I had 10 comments on here from yesterdays post. I was thinking that finally my MS support group visited my blog...Boy was I wrong. They were all these stupid ass spammed comments. What bullshit. I never had the word recognition on, but didn't know anything about that until yesterday when I saw that when I put a new post on there was a little note about putting word recognition on to prevent this exact thing from happening. So screw spammers anyway.

Man do my legs hurt!!! oh yeah that is nothing new. The nerve pain what a shock is back with a vengeance. My thigh muscles hurt so bad and I am assuming that is from being on that big ass ball yesterday..Because that was the only time in the recent future that I have used my thigh muscles. So now today I am just gonna take it easy. Well as easy as I can my house is a disgusting mess..not really because my house is always spotless..but that is the problem it is not spotless and is driving me crazy. There are dirty dishes in the sink which is rare and toys all over the living room which is against the rules and my brats know that but they are gonna clean that mess up. Oh yeah I have to go get some groceries tonight after dinner. Other than that I am taking it easy. Is all that easy??? No I guess not but I have to keep keeping on I suppose. My brats and hubby need me.

Tomorrow is my MRI and the 13th my dr's appointment. Which I am very curious to see my MRI this time, I sure as hell hope it looks better this time. Although I can almost be positive that it's no better as I am not doing so well. I just don't want to have to get the big N again anytime soon. but if I have to I will do it. I don't mind it at all because really I have only got sick from it once and I quit smoking then so it wasn't too bad. I just really would like to be able to get my medi-port first as my veins are shot now. Would you believe at age 25 everyone who sticks me or draws blood says that my veins are worse than a 90 year olds??? So I really wanna get my medi-port first. I mean I understand my veins being bad I have been on monthly steroid infusions for close to 5 years and monthly Novantrone (the big N) for 16 months give or take. I haven't gotten the big N every month but the way it is dosed for me is 3 monthly doses at a time, MRI, see how it is good= stop for now and continue with whatever med I am on bad=another monthly dose of the big N and start the process all over again. My last MRI was really bad like my whole brain was white. It looked like someone dumped white-out or something on it. I asked the dr. about my brain atrophy she said I can't tell you because there are too many lesions to try to see if there is any atrophy. So that was pretty scary. So I am hoping for the best. I do know that the MRI doesn't mean much per se. I had an awful MRI in June and I was doing better then ever. I was normal for a whole month. I was even driving the truck and going grocery shopping all by myself. That felt so nice to be independent. To not have to rely on anyone else. But that is gone I am now back to relying on everyone but what ya gonna do??

Friday my grandma will be here, I might be going with my Mom to the airport not sure yet. Saturday around 2p.m. we are eating dinner at my mom's with everyone. No dinner at my in laws on Sunday because Marv(father-in-law) is leaving for Texas today he has to fix a machine there. He might have to go to New Orleans and if he does he is taking Quorry and paying him well. That is what he told Quorry. I feel for all of those in New Orleans and Mississippi. I have been praying super hard for them to get through this.


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