Tuesday, October 25, 2005

I think that maybe I am depressed????

There is so much going on right now. I don't think that emotionally I can handle this. This Rebif all in itself makes me depressed to think that Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I have to be stabbed. The pain from the Rebif has only progressed. Hmmm...it seems like my body likes to progress. My MS is well beyond control my doctor's words yesterday and the pain is unbearable. So now I am working with my doctor on a new drug regimen. Fun wow. If it helps me with the pain I will do anything. My legs feel like they are on fire!! I hate that. If my legs feel like they are on fire answer me why I am still so f-ing cold? Who knows? Not me that is for sure!! Last night before my shot, I cried and cried and cried. Quorry asked what was wrong. I sat there for a minute trying to think of how to answer that...I don't know what was wrong, have no clue why I was crying. Today well the crying has not been much better...been crying off and on all day...mostly the on part of it. I know I should not have any problems sleeping tonight. When I cry and cry it makes me so very tired that is for sure.

I have a doctor's appointment Thursday with the doctor that will be putting my mediport portacath (which ever u prefer)in. This will be nice for my steroids (if I continue). OH and I can get blood taken from it!!!! GOnna ask if by some chance I can do my Rebif through it....

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