Thursday, October 06, 2005

Maybe I know why I can't sleep....

K well I was just on one of my many MS message boards that I belong to and saw some posts on "Rebif and sleep disturbances". So that is my theory. Maybe it is the Rebif because I have only been on it for a lil over a month and when I started it is when I started having problems sleeping. Who the hell knows?? Obviously I do not or I would shout out to the world tht if you are on Rebif be prepared you won't sleep!
You know what??? I hate this f-ing REbif for more reasons than not bein able to sleep. Last night my shot hurt so bad that I can not even begin to try to explain the pain that I felt. It was so bad that I was bawling like a baby. I know that my husband did everything the right way. So I do not understand why it hurt so much. I do not want to ever, ever, ever, ever, ever(K I'm sure you get the point) take Rebif again!!!! It was that bad!! Oh joy Friday starts the full dosage too. so now I don't know what I'm gonna do Friday. I told my mom today when we were out and about all of this and she said you know what "Amanda you know you have to do this" I said Yeah and your point? I do not have to do this!! So it will keep me maybe out of the wheelchair. I've done everything else that I "HAVE" to do and where the hell has it gottne me?? no where but worse!!! So then she said " Fine, Then I will just tell your husband to stab you with it when you are sleeping, and Amanda you know as well as I do that he will do if not because I ask him to but at least because I know he loves and cares about you and wants what is best for you" I do feel bad for talking to my mom that way but as much as she tries to understand and boy does she really try she never will be able to understand. I'm so glad that she is and has always been here for me. The way that I respond to her sometimes is just horrible but she understands..but that still doesn't make any closer to ok does it? Ok well can't type anymore when I'm in this mode/mood I cry too much to type anything else.....

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