Friday, October 07, 2005

Trying to mentally fix my mental state of mind.....

I am tryin to mentally prepare myself for that dumb ass Rebif shot tonight. I'm also tryin to fix my state of mind (bad) to positive. Even though that is hard right at the moment. It's hard to try to look positive when you are doing everything you are told you are supposed to do to get better and NONE of those things are makin you better. It's hard when all of those things just let you slide down that hill full throttle with out even an emergency brake to prevent you from crashing. I hate it when I am like this. But what can I do that I haven't already done??? I mean c'mon I have 3 very good MS specailists "working" on me and they all know what they are doing and still no help for me!!! It is frustrating!!!! I don't blame anyone for any of my problems....but still it is hard...maybe it would be easier if I had someone to blame. Who the hell knows?? Right now I feel like I don't know anything about anything myself included.

I talked with one of the Rebif nurses today and told them about my problems with the pain and the burning and they suggested: take a hot shower right before the shot. numb the area with ice or cold compress, take ibuprofen..blah blah blah..same shit I've heard a million times..and by the way tried all of it seperately and all together..didn't work. So the nurse then suggested calling my Neuro. and seeing about getting a prescription for EMLA So I called the Neuro. adn she phoned me in a script for it. She also suggested using aloe vera gel with Lidocaine for after the shot. So I will see how tonight goes. Wish me luck please!!!!

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