Thursday, February 09, 2006

Dizzy forever????? God I sure as hell hope not.....

Not sure if that even begins to explain my "happiness" of the last couple of weeks. Still I am geeling dizzy with NO HELP!!! I quit taking these damn "dizzy" pills, oh excuse me these damn "you-will-not-feel-dizzy" anymore pills. My reason for all of this is I feel the same with or without them, so the way I look at it is WHY???? I fthey don't really do anything for me why waste my time?? So yet again like a stupid fool the only meds really that I have been regulary taking is my birth control pills and my 1000mg. of Solumed. IV. No haven't taken my Avonex yet. I have stupid reasons too. First the first weekend I had the meds. and was going to take it well guess what ??That was the 1st weekend I started with this sickness crap so that in itself made me a lil scared considering I wasn't 100% sure that this time(Hello Amanda you have been on Avonex 3 previous times with no freaking side effects at all other than a lil muscle weakness the next day)I would not get any side effects. The other and probably main reason for not taking it is I AM SCARED!!! Of what I'm not quite sure?? I know I am afraid of these stupid needles anymore, I think that all the problems I had from the stupid Rebif did not help those matters at all. I mean before the Rebif when I was on Avonex took it every Saturday night no fear, no problem. I even got to relax all to myself on Sunday and my husband was in complete control. So Now I think I might take Avonex up on there offer to have training nurse come show me how to do it all again. See when I first started Avonex there was no such thing as pre-filled syringes, and the last 2 times that I was on it chose to go with the powder form I guess mainly because I have "heard" and read that the powder form produced less side effects. So again that is what I went with. My husband is a lil nervous himself as he is not wuite sure he honestly remembers exactly where to give the injections(I have always just switched from leg to leg as my arms have been to thin to do the IM shots in) So I think maybe tomorrow I will call the Avonex number and set up training. It would have to be on a Friday night for 2 reasons,#1 Quorry doesn't ahve to work Fridays and #2 If by some weird chance I do have side effects well he will be home with me the whole next 2 days.

Okay Quorry being home on Friday nights....He did get a new job pretty much ASAP. I still don't know exactly what he does perse...I just know I HATE it as he works really weird shift. He does though make very good money now and only works 4 days a week. That I like, What I don't like is I feel like a single mother again like I felt before him and I got together (I was a single mother of 2 kids mind you). I guess I will cope it could be worse right?? He could down right refuse to work and we could be on Welfare???

I got my new wheelchair that was ordered forever ago yesterday. It is definetly soooo much better than my last and it fits my body better. What I am not sure about is I ordered to have the "colored" part be like a deep dark metallic blue mainly because it was the closest thing to black that the manufacturer had. Well let me tell you the "colored" part is not blue it is a pretty purple color but even still it is purple!!!! Not sure I really like that but what are you gonna do? This new wheelchair will come in handy soooo much for me too.

I am gonna start my donations thing for my MS walk probably next week. Bradley's school has more then enough money for all things needed and very many extra things for the year so right now the PTA wants any parent with ideas on what the extra donations should go to to come to the next meeting and be heard. I think maybe I will go and tell them about the NMSS and have the money be donated to that. If they say No well then at least there will be a lot of parents that maybe will start thinking of the effects of this horrible disease and maybe at least think of ways that maybe they could help. Gamble's Country Deli the place that I used to work at told me to bring in my pledge sheet and that he (John the owner) would put it on the counter with an envelope and collect money for me but I had to give him a picture of me to go with it. Not sure if I like that as I hate almost everypic of me but it is soooo worth if for all of us MS'ers. I know twice we are "working" at Friendly's Restaurant and we will get so much of the profits from those night for the MS Walk. It will be the same deal for Pizza Hut. I will start getting more ideas as it gets a little closer. the MS Walk this year will be May 7th. I can not wait that is MY day no kids no husband just my day with my mom, dad, and sister and we go do this and always have a grand time!!!Last year we raised around $3,000. To me that is a lot of money and made me feel very good to do so for myself and others like me.......


Blogger mdmhvonpa said...

The needles were one of the big stumbling blocks for me too.

2:28 PM  
Blogger amanda said...

yeah I'm still in the undecided area of that as of now. Not sure what the hell to do?? I have a kind of MS that meds may help...well may I guess isn't good enough for me right now.

3:46 PM  

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