Friday, May 19, 2006

Why do I do this to myself?? Do I WANT to be depressed or what?????

My girlfriend Sherry called me a couple weeks ago and invited me over to her house for a lil "party" tomorrow night. We were just gonna eat have a few drinks and be 2 stay at home moms releasing some stress. Sherry was a good friend of mine all through school. She lived right up the road from me probably like a mile we would walk and meet each other half way all the time. We both went through our "school pregnancies" together. So we were pretty tight and she saw my mom at the race track about a year ago and asked for my number, my mom gave it to her and we have been talking since. We haven't seen each other since I was pregnant with Gerrott mind you he is 7 years old..so that is a long time. Well I don;t know what in the hell is wrong with me I ( like a fucking idiot) called her yesterday and told her that I could not make it because we had to go to Quorry's cousins wedding. Well that was a lie. What in the hell kind of friend am I to start our reconnection out on a stupid ass lie?? Maybe I'm just too scared to be happy?? Maybe I don't feel as though I deserve to be happy??? Who knows because in all honesty when I am happy I feel guilty almost. Odd I know maybe I need to see a freaking shrink or something?? Who in the hell knows. I was thinking that maybe I will call her tomorrow and maybe figure a way out of the lie because lord knows I need to get out of this house and do something that I enjoy. I can't remember the last time I was out of the house and had a great time. It's been a real long time that is for sure.

I am once again cursed with herpes. A huge nasty cold sore on my upper lip. I get 2 cold sores every year one around this time and one around Winters edge. It sucks. I did find something this time though that works soooo much better than any kind of cold sore treatment ( and A LOT cheaper). It is the Neosporin lip treatment. I woke up with this cold sore Monday morning and it is pretty much gone. Thank god I feel like I'm deformed walking around with this ugly thing on my face.

I feel bad that I haven't responded to any ones comments but like I stated in my last post my hand sucks. So thanks everyone for commenting.......

3 Comments:

Blogger mdmhvonpa said...

Herpies Curse ... brought on by stress no doubt. Karma? ;)

7:37 PM  
Blogger Jaime said...

Amanda,

I am sorry that things have been difficult for you lately. I hope the hand gets better real soon, but don't stress about leaving remarks to our comments. We know you are reading them and that you know we are here for you. That is what matters. :)

I hope that things work out so that you get the chance to spend some girl time with your friend. That may be just what you need right now. Take care.

Jaime

1:55 AM  
Blogger personallog! said...

Ahh babe, herpies!!!! Dam it! Hope you feel better soon babe...I hope the time with your mate calms every thing down for ya!

Dave

P.S I have a pressie for you if you get in touch! It rocks! Speak soon yeah!

9:18 AM  

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