Thursday, August 31, 2006

sorry been gone 2 long

WELL THIS IS GONNA HAVE 2 BE SHORT AS ITS 2 HARD 2 TYPE WITH 1 HAND CUZ THAT'S WHAT IM LEFT WITH. MY LEFT HAND DECIDED ABOUT 2 WEEKS AGO TO QUIT WORKING.MY EYES ALSO DECIDED THAT THEY WANT 2 BE BLURRY.
I WENT TO MY MS SPECIALIST YESTERDAY TO SEE THE RESULTS OF MY MRI. NOT GOOD NEWS NOT AT ALL. I HAVE MANY NEW ENHANCING LESIONS ALONG WITH 5 BLACK HOLES ON MY BRAIN. 4 NON MS KNOWING PPLE THE ENHANCING LESIONS ARE ACTIVE MS "SPOTS" IF YOU WILL. WHICH THAT IN ITSELF I SUPPOSE ISN'T A HUGE DEAL I'VE HAD MORE THAN I HAD YESTERDAY. MY DOCTORS WERE VERY CONCERNED BECAUSE MY BRAIN ACTIVITY IS WAY TOO ACTIVE AND SENSE I'VE BEEN ON EVERY MS MEDICINE WITH NO RESPONSE THERE IS A LOT OF CONCERN FROM THE DR'S & MY FAMILY AND OF COURSE MYSELF!!! I'M TERRIFIED!!! THEY GAVE ME SOME TIME TO DECIDE BETWEEN 2 DIFFERENT "NEW" MEDS. BOTH OF WHICH ARE SCARY. THE 1 ST ONE IS TYSABRI WHICH HAS KILLED 2 PPLE. BUT IT HAS ALSO HELPED SOOOO MANY MORE. THE DISEASE THAT IT CAN CAUSE CAN BE MONITORED FOR AND I CAN THEN STOP THE MEDICINE. THE OTHER IS CALLED PLASMAPHERESIS WHICH IS WHERE I WOULD HAVE TO BE IN THE HOSPITAL FOR AT LEAST 8 DAYS EVERY MONTH.

WHICH BASED ON THE 2 I HAVE NO IDEA WHICH ONE I WANT TO DO AND I HAVE THE WEEKEND TO MAKE A DECISION. HOW DO YOU DO THAT LIGHTLY??? LET'S SEE TAKE A DRUG THAT HAS A VERY GOOD CHANCE OF MAKING YOUR LIFE WHAT IT USED TO BE BUT OH YEAH DON'T 4 GET TO ADD IN THAT LITTLE FACT THAT THIS MED CAN KILL YOU.....OR HAVE THEM MESS WITH YOUR BLOOD STAY IN THE HOSPITAL 8 DAYS EVERY MONTH FOR A MED THAT IS IN ITS TRIAL STAGES???? I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO??? IF I WASN'T WORRIED ABOUT MY FUTURE BEFORE (YEAH RIGHT) I SURE AS HELL AM NOW AND EVEN MORE. IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!!!!!!

1 Comments:

Blogger Jaime said...

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. You are in my thoughts and prayers Amanda. I hope that things get better for you real soon. Take care!
Jaime

4:48 PM  

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