Wednesday, September 06, 2006

had to make a VERY tough decision.....

not that I wanted to have to make the hardest decision in my ENTIRE life...but I HAD to for my own benefit. I decided to go for the Tysabri. I guess what (strangely enough) made me chose this path was because I have 4 kids I can't be in the hospital for 8 days every month. Foolish maybe but really I had to make this decision with no other "help". It has been very very very hard to do. In all honesty I'm not even sure if this is what I want to do...not sure if I want to do either of my options. I do trust my dr's and know if they say I need something well then I do.....it's not too hard for me or anyone else (my 3 yr. old included ) to notice that my MS gets worse everyday. I just don't know anymore what to do about anything, I know that my depression gets deeper and stronger every day and sometimes I think if suicide wasn't the most selfish fucking act I think that would be the choice I would make. I do have 4 kids that need me wheelchair or not, both legs working or not my vision bad or good, my hands working or not THEY NEED THEIR MOMMY!!!!
If you are viewing my page PLEASE take the time to donate to People with MS at www.nmss.org Thanx!!!
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